Hello and welcome to Interpersonal!
The holidays have the potential to be a bit more stressful than joyful. Here are a few simple dos and don’ts for you for minimizing the stresses of the season and enhancing the joys.
Don’t:
…feel obligated to be drawn into an argument over the holiday table. In fact, don’t even feel obligated to GO to that gathering if you know it will devolve into the rehashing of old grievances or inane political debates. If you know that the family dinner will traumatize or re-traumatize you in some way (because it always has!) then give yourself permission to find somewhere else to be. Like your couch. With some Entenmann's.
Don’t play the same role you always have if that role isn’t one that you genuinely enjoy. Peacemaker? People-pleaser? Emotional punching bag? Defender of your personal life choices? Spokesperson for your political views? Well, just because you’ve always done it doesn’t mean you’re required to keep doing it.
Don’t overexplain yourself. Drawing a boundary can be done calmly, sweetly, and with a genuine smile. Read more about minimizing the negative parts of the holidays here.
Don’t judge yourself. Full stop.
Don’t worry what others are thinking or feeling. Just this once, put yourself first.
Don’t drink too much. (Who am I kidding? You drink that drink if it helps you get through all this.)
Do:
…as little as possible.
…leave the house minimally.
…go to a party if you’re excited to go.
…learn some utterly useless information you can bore people with at your next workplace happy hour.
…hang out with people who make you laugh your ass off.
…watch that Lifetime Christmas movie. (I’m especially partial to ones that have women with holiday-appropriate names like “Holly” or “Melody” who show up in a picturesque small town & learn important lessons of the season from the handsome single father with the adorable kid. And maybe a dog.)
…put down the vegetables. Pick up those Chee-toes.
…plan imaginary trips to faraway lands.
…put a bunch of stuff you will never actually buy into that Nordstrom shopping cart.
…scroll through TikTok like a pre-teen without feeling like you’re “wasting time.”
…waste time.
By the time January 2 rolls around, my wish for you is that you will have become a lesser version of yourself. That diet? Yeah, it starts…well, whenever the hell you decide it does.
Happy Holidays, my friend. May your blessings be many and your accomplishments be few.
-Rebecca
Excellent read and advice!! Also, forgot about Entenmann's...a childhood favorite of mine. Santa might be getting those rather than cookies this year. Thank you!